Self-harm, sometimes referred to as non-suicidal self injury (NSSI), is often a way of coping with intense feelings. Methods for self-harm can include cutting, burning, eating, or any other behaviour that has the potential to soothe emotional suffering. Self-harm methods can evolve to become more extreme and intense, often in conjunction with one's level of emotional pain. Many people find self-harm perplexing and focus on stopping it rather than trying to understand it.

 

Robert Firestone (2018) offered insights in to why somebody may hurt themselves. People have two selves. The first is the 'real self,' which re-affirms their self-worth. The 'anti-self' functions as the alien part of their personality and includes critical and self-destructive voices. The anti-self develops in childhood where children incorporate angry and hostile aspects of their parents' reactions into themselves because it is too painful or threatening to view the danger as coming from the very person they rely on for survival (Firestone, 2018, p. 18). This is why we all tend to have negative concepts about ourselves, regardless of how unrealistic they are. In spite of this, many of us instead focus on developing our real selves in an effort to identify with that more positive side of our personality. However, the anti-self can become activated when our present-day experiences closely match something painful in our past (e.g., rejection). A person can then end up taking out their own critical and hostile voices out on their bodies as a way of releasing emotional pain. 

 

Many people who struggle with self-harm also struggle with regulating their own thoughts and feelings. Although self-harm can be useful in helping people communicate pain, it tends to cause them shame and guilt in the long run. Therapy can help people uncover some of the causes of their pain and help them adopt healthier coping strategies that they can use when they feel the anti-self creeping in. 

​

Firestone, R. W. (2018). The enemy within: Separation theory and voice therapy. Pheonix, AZ: Zieg, Tucker, & Theisen.