Family conflict is a natural part of living with difference but it is how this difference is acknowledged and communicated that matters. If people engage in a 'dance' or dynamic where someone is left feeling criticized, dismissed, or invalidated, then a family member may learn to reject their own feelings and viewpoints and begin to internalize their own self-critic. Or, they may just decide to withdraw citing that there is no point communicating with somebody who always seems to privilege their own opinions as fact. 

Over time, people may give up trying to communicate because they feel unsafe, futile, or a sense that they and their feelings are walking on eggshells. At the same time, people often have a need to let out hostility or pain due to how stressful it can be on their bodies to keep inside. They often look for ways to do this in counselling, as well as, learn communication strategies that increase the likelihood that they will be acknowledged and listened to. Family counselling offers families ways of acknowledging one another that opens space for members to feel safe and validated. Once families become more fluent in learning these new dynamics, the old dynamics begin to wither away and members begin to internalize a sense of safety and respect for one another.